yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
