spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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