Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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