What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
