Swine flu. Run for my life!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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