the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
