Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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