..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
