so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
