Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
