You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
