Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
