Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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