:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
