To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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