Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
