4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
