Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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