3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
