this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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