If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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