Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize