She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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