Ambien. No doubt about it.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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