Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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