pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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