Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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