That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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