we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize