shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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