Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
