They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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