the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
