The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
