I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
