Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
