im about as happy as oj after his trial
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
