I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
