dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
