12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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