What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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