Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize