Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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