well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
