Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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