He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
