The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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