I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
