3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
