singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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