grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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