I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
