WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
