I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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