Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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