Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
