I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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