i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
