he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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