Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize