You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
