Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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