I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
two words...techno handjob
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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