OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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