I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That accounts for only three of the penises
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This toilet bowl is my home.
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