i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
