nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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