We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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