i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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