I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and she was petting her beer can
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
