My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
