she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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